So today on the way out of the building I was busted by the corporate pseudo-cops.
My crime: Not prominently displaying my security badge.
The punishment: Having my name ceremoniously written on a clipboard, and being forced to listen to a speech delivered by a fat guy in polyester slacks. Fortunately, I did not have to do detention. This time.
Evidently, there are crooks so interested in what sodas are available in the break room that they can use their ninja-like cunning to circumvent our Byzantine security system, but who do not have access to Photoshop.
My instrument of vengeance: A red Sharpie. I'll be wearing my badge tomorrow, but now my picture has evil eyes. Oh yes, life on the other side of the law is sweet.